Society

Are we Open to Talk Sex and Sexuality to our children?

Talking about sex and sexuality to our kids educates and protects them in their future life. – By Jean Berchmans Siboniyo
Many parents find it embarrassing and shameful to talk to their children about sex and sexuality. . It may make you feel uncomfortable at first, but it gets easier with time and practice.
This is the case of Claude Ntahorubuze…, a parent of three children. “I feel very embarrassed and ashamed to engage a discussion about sex and sexuality with my daughters. What I do now is only to care about where they go and who their friends are”.
According to Claude, he waits until her first-born daughter gets in 5th form, and then he will exert strenuous effort to start talking about sex and sexuality with her. While waiting for that time, he teaches them how to swim, watches the television together and when something related to sex appears, he tells them not to do that, it is not time yet for them to know anything about sex.
Martha Irambona, a mother of a daughter who is in 4th form says that she tells her children stories of what happened to others and warns them never to follow such bad examples. She encourages them to love God and save the honor of their family. If they hide her what they do, they will not hide it to God. “Study first. Time for you to do that has not come yet”, says Martha.
Bernice Dushime, a 4th form student in secondary school, indicates that she got a conversation opportunity to talk to her father about love when she had fallen in love with a young boy in the neighborhood.
“My mother told me that boys are roaring lions, girls are sheep that can easily be tricked and devoured at any time”, says Bernice. Despite this, she loved a boy one day.
Esperance Kaneza, single adult lady says: “my father died when I was in 6th form secondary school. We had never had a conversation about sex and sexuality”.
All these cases show that many parents teach their children about sex and sexuality when the latter have already heard or done something related to sex. Even so, according to many educators, parents shouldn’t be discouraged to talk about sex to their kids whenever it is necessary.
It is worth noting that teens often name their parents as the biggest influence in their decisions about sex. And teens who report having good conversations with their parents about sex are more likely to delay sexual activity, have fewer partners, and use condoms and other contraceptives when they do have sex.